Waiting for paint to dry

I have been quieter on the posts recently because I’ve been in the process of moving house to a different city and then, to really test my resilience, I decided to renovate some of the house a month after moving in. It has been a rollercoaster of stress, high emotions and daily testing of my limited reserves of patience. So, while I’m sat here literally waiting for the paint to dry in my brand-new kitchen, I thought I’d share what I’ve learnt:

1: Patience is the ultimate power

Delayed gratification is almost entirely absent from our instantaneous consumerism driven digital worlds. We no longer have to wait a week to watch a TV series, wait more than an hour to have shopping delivered and we can speak to friends face-to-face instantaneously over video chat (no need to wait for someone to get off the phone line or get home!). We can even traverse the world in 24 hours. Our lives are fast, and so much faster than they were even 20 years ago.

Patience has never been a strong skill for me, I’ve always struggled with slow speeds, but when you’re buying a house, the process takes at its fastest three months in the UK. It’s a long arduous antiquated process that’s designed to take your patience to its extreme stretching point – and then a teeny bit beyond. Builders, while not as slow, still take weeks rather than days to complete renovation work. In my working profession, to have weeks to do anything is a luxury rarely afforded. My patience reserves have been tested on an almost daily basis since March.

And what I have learnt is that patience is the ultimate skill. If you are able to wait free from impatience, angst and stress – safe in the knowledge that your desired outcome is on its way. Well, then, you have life cracked. I actually find it physically painful to wait, well, for anything. We just don’t do it anymore. And the more I had to wait patiently for things to unfold at a glacial pace the better I got. Now, I’ll never be a truly patient person but there is true skill in sitting back, breathing and having faith that the result you desire will materialise. Eventually…

2: The time will pass anyway

I find this one quite helpful, because I have been wishing my life away for months. It’s a terrible assumption to make – our time on this planet is truly unknown - and I genuinely believe that we need to make the most of every day. But if you’re going to embark on something big and ambitious it’s also important to get on with it.

Make the most of the here and now, because the time will pass whether you’re doing something or nothing to achieve your dreams. If you start something exciting today – you could have achieved it by this time next week, by the end of the month or by Christmas… If you don’t start, well then those moments in time will pass anyway.

3: This too shall pass

I used this a lot during lockdown and found it comforting. Sometimes when you’re in the midst of a stressful, horrible or unpleasant experience, big or small, it’s important to remember that it will eventually end. The storm will pass, and the blue sky will reappear, so hang on tightly to that umbrella and imagine being warm and dry at home.

Hope is sometimes all we have - alongside time and patience. I’ve decided that they’re the ultimate trifecta for a graceful, contented life. They’re old-fashioned concepts of hope, grace and patience – we’re usually too busy consuming everything at high speeds to pause for these life skills but skills they are.

4: Be kind

While I’ve been riding the rollercoaster which has been my life for the last six months, I’ve also been working full time. I like to think that the quality of my work, my attitude and presence hasn’t been impacted by my personal life, but while I’ve worked hard to keep up a ‘business as usual’ front that’s potentially a touch naive. It’s been a stark reminder to be kind to everyone you meet – especially work colleagues who you perhaps don’t know all too well. I know others have longer term and far more stressful things going on in their personal lives than moving house or building work – and I salute you. It’s incredibly hard juggling everything at once.

5: Take the leap

It would have been far easier and considerably cheaper for me to stay where I was. I lived somewhere I loved and could have easily stayed there for the foreseeable future, but it’s not where I wanted to be in 20 years’ time. I made a bold, and from where I’m sitting now slightly mad, decision to uproot my life. Has it been a good move? I honestly can’t tell you yet. It’s been stressful, chaotic and awful but I’ve done more, seen more and tried more new experiences in the last six months than the last six years. It has been truly up and down. I genuinely believe you rarely regret proactive positive action in your life. It creates time and space for the good things to come in. Well, that’s what I’m hoping!

Victoria Fairclough is a PR & Communications Consultant at Fair Communications. For more information, please visit: www.faircommunications.co.uk